ShadAmy Parody

“SONIC!”

The excited yell of Amy Rose echoed through the air, and could probably be heard from all over the world. It was just as was suspected. Amy bounded out of nowhere and latched herself onto an unsuspecting Sonic the Hedgehog, who went from laidback to extremely angry in the space of a second.

“GET OFF OF ME!” he screamed in anger, without thinking. Yet again, Sonic was famed for his stupidity.

Amy let go of him, her eyes welling up with tears, “B-but Sonic…”

“WHY CAN’T YOU JUST LEAVE ME ALONE?” he shouted loudly, his eyes almost popping out of his eye sockets. Nobody, not even himself, cared about how out-of-character he appeared to be, “DO US ALL A FAVOUR! CURL UP AND DIE!”

At that, Sonic the Jerk ran off, leaving Amy to collapse on the pavement and cry to herself. Typically, the weather decided to rain, and Amy sobbed harder and harder. Her dress was getting dirty. It was strange; whenever Sonic had turned her down before she had always jumped to her feet and tried again until she had him. However, she just sat there and cried.

“Hey, Amy Rose.”

Shadow the Hedgehog leant down on the floor, holding out his hand to her with a soft smile on his face. His heart thumped loudly. Normally Shadow didn't act so nice to anyone, so it was certainly a surprise to Amy. He brought her close to him, hugging her softly.

“Don’t worry, Sonic’s just a jerk that doesn't deserve you,” he whispered, stroking her quills, and kissing her forehead. Amy blinked in confusion; Shadow didn't know Sonic was the one that had hurt her feelings. She shrugged; it didn't matter, not really. Shadow was such a nice guy even if he was generally cold…

“I love you Shadow,” she whispered back. She was certain she had broken a record; she had fallen in love with someone in the space of a second right after having her heart broken by the hedgehog she had loved since she was a child of eight.

Shadow kissed her cheek, finally able to admit his feelings to her now that Sonic was out of the way, “I love you too Amy.”

From that moment on, Shadow the Hedgehog and Amy Rose became instant boyfriend and girlfriend.

-----

Sonic the Hedgehog kicked the sand in frustration; Amy was so irritating. After three whole days, he still hadn't steamed off about her obsessed fan girl attitude towards him. Though he did feel some level of guilt deep down, he didn't want to admit it.

He randomly sighed, before something caught his attention.

Amy and Shadow.

No, his eyes were not deceiving him; Amy and Shadow. Walking together, arm in arm, giving each other mushy glances every three seconds.

Rage filled Sonic; how dare Shadow steal his girlfriend? Well… Amy wasn't his girlfriend yet but maybe if he showed the pink hedgehog who Shadow really was then maybe she would be head over heels for him again, which would give his ego a real boost knowing that he was better than Shadow. So he sat and thought of a plan to split Amy and Shadow up, regardless of how much of a jerk he was acting like.

Eventually, it hit him. He would have to kill Shadow the Hedgehog. It was the only way to win Amy back.

So he did what jerks that picked a fight did best; he marched straight up to Shadow and Amy, with his fists clenched, “HEY FAKER!”

Turning around, the black hedgehog glared at the sight of him, “You have a lot of nerve showing your face, jerk.”

“I have a lot of nerve? You’re stealing my girlfriend!” the sapphire hedgehog roared at him.

“She was never your girlfriend to begin with!” Shadow yelled back, his fists clenched just as tightly as Sonic’s.

“DIE!” Sonic lunged at Shadow, fists beginning to fly, “I’ll teach you to steal Amy from me!”

“STOP IT!” Amy screamed, her eyes alight with rage. She glared at Sonic fiercely, her eyes wide with anger, “I was never yours in the first place, jerk! I love Shadow now, and if you can’t accept it, then get lost!”

Sonic’s eyes welled up with tears. Amy hated him. Even killing Shadow would not help; it would make things worse. Sobbing, he pulled a sharp knife out of nowhere.

“If that’s what you want Amy…” Sonic whispered in a low voice, “But I just want you to know that I did love you… if you choose Shadow though… I just… I can’t live without you.”

And at that, he pointed the knife’s blade towards himself and buried it within his chest. Collapsing to the floor, screaming in agony, Sonic the Hedgehog bled to death.

A few weeks after that occurrence Sonic was buried outside Tails’ workshop, for Tails was the only person who still had respect for his best friend. About four or five months after that, Amy married Shadow. They had twin boys together named Rush and Dash, and lived happily ever after.

And as for Sonic? People started hating him because he interfered with Shadow and Amy being together. So everyone except Sonic lived happily ever after, not that Sonic lived at all.